One thing that really changed me when it comes to my relationships with people, might be viewed as a negative thing, to some, depending on how you look at it. When I was in high school, I always tried to be friends with everyone. It worked, and I was a very well liked person, and pretty popular. I didn't like the idea of people not liking me, and I also feared the idea of me and someone's relationship taking a turn for the worst. Because of that, I always avoided confrontation, and tried to stay friendly with everyone. There was a girl I had a really big crush on, but I didn't want to say anything to her, because I didn't want things to get weird, and our friendship to take a turn for the worse. A good friend of mine, at the time said "You know what, dude, you're 'friends' with all of these people, and you have a lot of really close friends too. Why do you care so much about NOT being friends with one of the tons of people you're cool with in school? Take a risk, you have plenty to lose, in a good way." Since then, I've been a lot more willing to take risks, when it comes to my relationships with people. That mindset also allowed me to end relationships with people that I was better off NOT being friends with, without being worried about it. A friend since kindergarten had spent the entirety of high school making fun of me in front of his friends, for laughs. Me and him are no longer friends, and I was able to make this change because of the new perspective my friend offered me.

When I was a freshman in high school, I had my first girlfriend. That one lasted about 3 weeks, so it didn't really count, but a month later I had a girlfriend, who I was with for a year and a half. I actually wanted to break up with her after about a year, but we were very involved, and I knew she was very emotionally attached, so I procrastinated, for about 6 months... I had talked to my dad about it, and he had told me that I needed to do it sooner than later. Eventually, after further procrastination, my dad told me that it wasn't fair for me to be leading her on like this, and that I was grounded until I had broken up with her (yes, it was that bad). So, I finally bit the bullet, and did the right thing. It was hard, for both of us, but it was also very relieving knowing that I wouldn't be leading her on any further. I was sort of in denial about how bad the situation was, at the time, but after exiting the situation, and looking at it from another perspective, I realized that what I did was a terrible thing, and not a mistake I ever want to make again. Now, in relationships, if I feel things aren't working out, and I either lack the motivation to fix things, or I've tried fixing things, and it made no difference, I no longer procrastinate. It's not easy, but it's a hell of a lot easier than waiting 6 months before breaking things off.

I was friends with a girl in high school, who was very flirty. Me and her talked a lot, and she flirted with me a lot, so I flirted back. I was already attracted to her from the beginning, but the fact that she was flirting with me so much made me actively pursue a relationship with her. I figured that I liked her, and she seemed to like me, since she was flirting with me so much, so I wanted to give things a try. Before I made any bold moves, though, I talked to my friends about the flirting she was doing. I'd explain the situation to my friends (guys and girls) and they agreed, that she was definitely showing signs of interest. So, I asked her out, and she said she wasn't interested. I was pretty devastated, because my expectations were so high, considering the positive feedback from all of my friends. Even though she had blatantly told me that she wasn't interested, I was still convinced, by her actions, that she was interested in me. We continued to talk, she continued to flirt, so a little while later, I asked her to prom. She said "maybe" and that she'd have to think about it. I didn't want to rush her, or pester her about it, so I ceased contact with her, and was awaiting her "final answer". Two days before prom, I heard through the grapevine, that in-between that point, and the day I asked her to prom, she had gotten a different prom date, and was going in a limo with him, and a bunch of her other friends. I was hurt, yes, but mostly angry that she hadn't even said anything to me, and there were only 2 days left until prom. What I learned from this is that actions don't always reflect intent, or feelings. Since this experience, I've learned not to base decisions on outward actions alone. If I feel like I'm being flirted with, instead of just assuming that their interested, I ask girls what their intentions are, so that I can get a clear idea as to what's going on.